Healing is not selfish.

There is a crack, a crack in everything.

That’s how the light gets in.

- Leonard Cohen

It was suggested to me the other day that taking time for yourself, and looking after your own mental health and wellbeing was a selfish and frivolous act.

It made me feel deeply sad, to think that it can be considered selfish to need time and space to heal ourselves. If we are not whole, or at the very least, on a journey to nurture and understand ourselves, how can we expect to help others who are suffering, and how can we expect ourselves to grow?

The analogy that comes to mind, is in an emergency situation, you need to put your oxygen mask on first, before you can even attempt to help others.

We are always so ready to offer support, advice and opinion for loved ones, so why do we find it so very hard to speak to ourselves with the same care and kindness, and compassion?

This world we are living in has changed monumentally, and we have all experienced uncertainty and pressure, and we have had to adapt quickly. But it has left many of us burnt out and overwhelmed. When we are in a state of anxiety, and feel ungrounded, when we feel disconnected from ourselves and others, it is like we are walking through life on autopilot, unable to feel. This is when we have to be courageous by being honest with ourselves. We have to allow ourselves to stop and say “No, I am not OK.” And we have to acknowledge the bravery it takes to not only recognise that fact, but know with your whole heart, that it is OK, not to be OK. You can throw yourself into helping others, because it allows you to bury your head in the sand about what you truly need. We are so good at decisions when it comes to others, but we can procrastinate when the decisiveness is needed for us.

What you need to accept is that you deserve more. If you are offering advice to others, but admittedly, you can’t take your own advice, where is the authenticity in what you are offering? You deserve more for yourself, and from yourself. So be brave, stop and recognise that you need time for yourself, and that there is nothing selfish about wanting to take time to heal and nourish you. You have a long road ahead, where you will walk hand in hand with yourself. Learn to love yourself, and then you can truly and honestly, help and love others.

Be lovely to hear your thoughts below, or you can contact me here